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Bootstraps
A plane ticket. Others have suggested he’s bored and I concur. IMO, he needs to be intellectually challenged while simultaneously having his fears assuaged. Fear, I believe, is a key driver in pushing people toward fascist ideologies. Most likely he fears not being loved.
Traveling to countries with very different cultures can be both stimulating and reassuring, especially if it involves some significant challenge - a physical one like climbing a significant peak or somewhere that’s just super hard to get to. You can demonstrate that you love and care for him by going with him. Just the two of you.
Bruges
That shithole?
It has beautiful alcoves, i hear.
How do you say, the “nooks and crannies.”
Some political theory, then read it yourself so you can stop being a liberal /j
I don’t know how to put this delicately, but:
1.) I grew up in this line of thinking (but also deeply religious, so it’s a little different) and it dissipated due to two main things: psychedelics and losing weight/becoming more confident and in-shape. In my case, I hated myself because I was unattractive and very overweight. I saw other people getting girls and resented how easy it seemed, while I felt invisible.
2.) Much of my family is like this and it is always due to a similar lack of confidence/self-loathing.
I’m not suggesting anything, just throwing it out there. That’s a hard thing to “gift” around, if it’s even at all potentially relevant. Gym membership or weights? You’d have to have a pretty unique relationship with your son to give him psychedelics or a trip to a nice strip club, and I’m not even sure that solves anything necessarily (just using it as an extreme example). Could be badass. Could be really weird/icky. Probably the latter. Massage is less weird? I don’t know.
Which is why I agree with the sentiment of separating it all from Christmas and just love him and give him something that shows you know him and know what he would like, so that he feels seen and appreciated. “I’m not going anywhere” is the most-powerful message you can try to send. I’d say IF you try to gift something like that, make sure it’s only a side item. Don’t make the entire thing about your differences.
Many cliches of parenting turn out to be realities as you go. You find yourself realizing tropes exist for a reason. They grow up fast. Different phases at different periods. Moody teenagers. They’re not always true, but they often turn out to be understandable. Besides the above, it’s worth considering whether there might be some element of “rebellion” in it, if he grew up liberal. Maybe it’s just “doing the opposite of my lame family,” like a little bit of a “fuck you, dad!!!” phase? No matter what, you lose the more you dramatically respond. I think riding it out by being the rock who loves him no matter what is ultimately the best play, which means some awesome gift that he would love.
Ask him what he wants and use that as a starting point?
Maus the graphic novel
That’s a doozie, for sure!! Some heavy shit in there.
Might be a bit of a loaded gift, however?
Coal
No! That’s what they want!
I used to be heading down this path as a teenager. For me, college was the eye opener. When I broke away from my normal bubble of people, I would have my opinions and biases challenged.
I like the travel suggestion as well. Also I went to some music festivals around that time that were pretty significant to my beliefs. I guess it depends on the type of music they prefer though.
If he’s consuming right wing social media, it might be because he’s bored. Others have suggested left wing media, but maybe just finding other activities to do would help. These cost money, but maybe camping/hiking, hobby electronics/combat robots, dirt bikes/go-karts, RC planes/drones or metal fabrication are ideas that come to my mind. These are hobbies that have either politics neutral or left leaning communities. If he picks up that you’re trying to politically influence him, he’ll likely dig his heal in.
This is great advice, and combine it with talking to him. My son was into Tate, and then Rogan, and a few others throughout his years. He would tell me about something they said and I would tear it down with logic and empathy, and then explain the right mindset from which to view whatever the given subject was. Indoctrination requires isolation, so keep an open dialogue, and an open mind, and talk them down from the ledge.
The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair.
I’m not right leaning, but I live in a right leaning area, and I think most all of us could stand a bit of time back in nature. So here’s what I would consider.
- A hunting or fishing license and classes
- A long weekend camping in the woods
- A trip to a national park
- Boat license lessons
- A craft class at a local Uni, like welding or pottery. They’re usually pretty cheap and a lot of fun
- A rafting trip
Not knowing him at all nor what he likes, perhaps a guitar and guitar lessons. That’s something I truly enjoyed in my late teens/early 20s. Or tickets to a music show or comedian he likes.
I would advise against hunting, fishing, and boating. I’m part of that community and it’s mostly racist older men. You can find progressives like me, but most people he would encounter would just reinforce the kind of ideology you’re trying to steer him away from.
A hunting or fishing license and classes
These are really educational, and I actually made a new friend at one, and I’m a middle-aged man.
We really need better terms than facist or nazi. People keep confusing the meaning of the words because its all we have for description of this thoughtset. There might be some overlap, but unless it 100% fits it just creates opportunities for people to be confused and issue to get muddied by pointless arguments and misunderstandings.
For some time i have thought this type of thoughtset as “dark humanity”, but i’m not sure how fitting term it is and it feels kind of over dramatic. It just feels like humans are fundamendally split about one or more core issues, with some in the middle too. Though i’m also worried that making such clear distinction would also make the separation more solid. The issues also need more defining.
Why we need better terms is that we need to be able to confront these people without insulting them as first thing, otherwise we are just aiding the enemy by pushing them further in. Calling someone nazi or facist only hurts if there is any chance to save them. Its no better than calling someone libtard.
The fuck it is. Fascists are fascists are fascists. There is not some moral equivalence between that and libtard, and honestly fuck you for making the comparison.
What i’m trying to do is suggest we should try to find alternatives to where we are eventually going, which is both sides attacking eachother for real.
And while there is no moral equivalence, there is equivalence between our hate of fascism and their hate of our way of thinking. We shouldnt drive away those who are not completely lost.
Also, i dont see the need to be immidiately so offended and attack me verbally like that. You can point out the mistakes someone has made and offer your own corrections to them and discuss like civilized people. I feel like i dont see things as others do, i think i have some kind of autism. so how am i supposed to learn from my mistakes like this?
The opposite side of intolerance…? Yes. I do want to be that. If ensuring that people can live peacefully necessitates violence, then so be it. They are the ones who have been perpetually escalating and the left has been tolerant and attempted to work together with people. In response, they have repeatedly shat in their own hands and smeared it on our faces then made fun of our smell. It’s pathetic that this is where we are at.
If there is truely no way to avoid violence, then we should stop fucking around. If there is any organized effort going on regarding opposing facism, planet dying, billionaires taking everything its failing quite badly at conveying there is any hope.
I’d be curious about what makes him different from the others. There’s been some research regarding fluid intelligence* vs. crystalized intelligence, where liberals tend to be more on the fluid side. It kind of makes sense because rather than trying to figure out what they can’t understand off the bat, conservatives tend to rage against it.
As far as gifts, I dunno. Maybe a puzzle game? I don’t know what’s big in the puzzle game world now, if anything. The idea is make your son more comfortable with the idea of tackling novel problems instead of trying to cram them into an existing framework.
*it’s called “intelligence” but I tend to think of it more like a thinking strategy. Fluid intelligence being “can I think of a way to solve this?” while crystallized intelligence is “what strategy that I’m familiar with already can solve this?”
Specifically try to get him into some hobby or social activity that will draw his attention away from the fasc stuff. Was there anything he used to love, any friends he’s drifted away from that you could try and get him talking to again through a shared activity?
Source: am psych nurse. You don’t confront / directly argue with delusions and other thoughts related to maladaptive social behavior; you subtly reduce their attractiveness while encouraging healthy human connection.
Additionally, I would suggest activities that doesn’t isolate him further or put him in a group of like minded people. Cooking classes would be nice.
While cooking classes might be nice, I would think for someone who is suspected of falling into the fascist sphere of influence that masculinity is more than likely highly emphasized so they would more than likely be offended by the thought of cooking.
Although if you could frame it in a masculine sense like barbeque then maybe you could get somewhere. I don’t know if there are specific group barbeque classes though lol
