I have all that I can reasonably want that I could reasonably be given, so I’m making a gift instead, I’m off donating blood in half an hour, hopefully someone will appreciate it 😋

To spend xmas with my grandparents that passed away!

A (significant) raise in salary (after tax) to invest and hopefully increase my portfolio.

The Return of the British Empire

Linux market share to grow more

A whole new life, but I’ve already been there, done that—it’s not what it’s cracked up to be.

To have my dad and aunt cured of their disease so I can finally feel happiness again

Some day I’d love to be the owner of a Curta calculator, but considering the cheapest I’ve ever seen them is $700 I don’t think that’ll ever be a Christmas gift. A tax refund gift to myself perhaps one day, but certainly not a Christmas gift.

To win a housing lottery so I can move the fuck out like why the fuck do you need to be lUcKy to FUCKING LIVE IN THE CITY YOU WERE FUCKING BORN IN? Some apartments and condos had yearly incomes of 100k to 150k yearly. Bro. If you’re making One Hundred Thousand United States Dollars every year, you’re most likely making $1500 a week. You should be considered rich or well off. Why the absolute fuck are literal rich people unable to fucking just live on their own in their city without needing to be lucky? The US Government is a humongous failure. Any country with homeless and desperately poor people has a failed government. Then you have these exact poor people fighting each other for enough money to escape poverty on Mr Beast Games and everyone’s watching it without understanding how fucked that is. That poor people are given a carrot on a stick to chase for everyone’s entertainment.

I’m certain I won’t get it, as it’s not on my wishlist nor have I ever mentioned it to anyone, but my number one desired object right now is a life-sized, anatomically correct model of a specific non-human animal body part.

Sex. Not gonna happen with the kids at home and houseguests.

I’d like to skip Christmas, I get nothing out of it but headaches. I don’t enjoy the family get togethers (individually or in small groups my family is mostly fine, but all of them at once is too much) I don’t want anything that can reasonably be asked for or given as a present, and I don’t have any space for the useless junk I’ll inevitably receive.

What I need/want is money. I’m not struggling, but I have projects and things I’m saving up for and whatever they’d spend on gifts if they feel like they need to give me something I’d much rather them just give me the cash or Venmo me. They’re not going to gift me a new heater, deck, washer/dryer, paint for my living room, etc. the best I can hope for is some gift cards to Lowes, home Depot, etc. and inevitably the cards will all be to different places so I can’t even use them all on what they’re intended to go towards, and there’s a good chance that once I’ve saved up enough I’ll get the best price at a store I don’t even have any gift cards for, so they’re going to sit around collecting dust because I’ll never remember to grab them when I need to go buy a box of screws or something.

Just give me cash.

The same touchscreen gloves I got two years ago that are no longer being made. There’s three pairs on eBay and if no one buys them for me I’m buying them all for myself.

I want Saturn, somebody please buy me Saturn and all it’s moons.

For all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.