Shouldn’t it have been “How many guys have you fucked?” He didn’t say “you dudes.”
Obviously fake, but the response is a total non-sequitur to set up for the grindr but.
It’s because the joke story was supposed to be " hey dudes" That way the woman asks “how many dudes have you fucked” he can then go into the Grindr gotcha
I view “guys” and “dudes” as gender neutral but when its directed towards me i start feeling like shit
“Cunt” it is, then.
Accidentally Australian /j
Cunt is singular, he should have used “cunts”.
or British…
“You fuckers” is the correct nomenclature
“Fuckos” for informal situations
os
That’s male-coded in Spanish
Not in Australia it isn’t. I see your cultural imperialism is still in full throttle.
I’m fairly sure Spanish works the same in Australia as elsewhere. Might be wrong, haven’t been down under :P
Spanish isn’t widely spoken down here though. The origin is completely different. We have a habit of adding -o to various words in Australian parlance - bottleo for bottle shop, the name John becomes Johno, arvo for afternoon, ambo for ambulance driver and fuckos for fuckers. Your assumption it’s spanish is incorrect and culturally ignorant, and your attempt to dictate from that ignorance with the assumption that your personal experience and worldview is dominant and correct …tsk tsk tsk i’m afraid this is going to cost you.
At some point you need to take responsibility for your insecurities and work on moving past them rather then expecting society to placate you. Languages evolve, so if your end goal is gender equality (or even if its not), the best thing you can do is accept that words are context sensative and “dude” and “guys” can be neutral terms.
At first you need to take responsibility for what comes out your face and not assume everyone will accommodate to your inability to read the room. If you’re an asshole to someone don’t be a little bitch if you’re getting called out.
Alternatively, if a woman asks you not to call her a guy or a dude, respect that.
I’m so fucking sick of the neg culture that pretends to be politically correct. There’s malicious sexism and loads of assholes out there for sure but some feel emboldened to attack anyone they construe to be saying what they think is wrong regardless of context.
Someone will always be offended by absolutely fucking everything. They can go fuck themselves.
Hell, in the Irish TV series “Bad Sisters”, the women have called each other collectively “lads”. If that’s the kind of thing that grinds your gears, you’re better off surgically excising the part of your brain that deals with language comprehension, so you can never again understand anything being said to you.
*sensertif
*your
She gets angry at me for saying “you guys”
Me: 🚶
It’s not a problem until someone tells you to not refer to them as a dude or a guy. If you continue, you are just an asshole 🤷🏻
I mean I’ll be nice about it and correct to girls or ladies or whatever, but that conversation is probably over
Why? Because it’s so difficult for you to respect someone’s request that likely means way more to them than to you?
Understanding is a meeting in the middle. It’s reasonable to correct the record on how you as an individual would like to be gendered. It’s not reasonable to expect all of society to drop the use of a word that is colloquially accepted as gender neutral. At a certain point, your outrage is the antisocial behavior.
Not everyone uses “guys” like that, you’re assigning way too broad of usage to it. It’s also just not important enough to die on a hill for. Just be decent human it’s not hard. Accommodate one person who asked you because it means something to them. Why is this so hard for folks to get? Do you never tailor your language to your audience?
…
I think you’ve completely misunderstood what everyone is saying because that’s exactly what everyone you’ve responded to, including myself, is saying that they would do.
Tailor their words for that conversation but move on to a different group of people from there. Not permanently tailoring the way they speak because it is highly unlikely that they’ll engage again.
I think the amount of people who either (1) do not know the term to be gender neutral or (2) purposefully use it as a gendered term to anger people is less than 1%, honestly.
I live in a pretty conservative area, and I’m not exactly a leftist either, and I’ve never seen guys used in any way other than just as a generic for “you all”
it’s also just not important enough to die on a hill for
Cool, so we agree it’s silly to get so strung up over it, huh? Of course people tailor their language, it happens constantly. If someone is going to go out of their way to construe a perfectly normal part of speech as me being malignant and demand that I change my behavior for their benefit I’m going to tell them to fuck off, personally. If someone is respectful and asks tactfully…sure, I’ll adjust for them. Though internally I’ll be judging them for being a snowflake.
It matters more to them than to you that’s the whole point
How does a snowflake screw in a lightbulb? They hold the bulb, and the whole world revolves around them.
I think it’s more that if you get annoyed at something like that, I would think you’re way too much of a hassle to be friends with long term. It’s just a matter of compatibility and the choice to filter out incompatible people in your social circle. It’s nothing personal.
You likely have no idea why that person said to stop and sometimes the right thing to do is just say “ok,” especially when the stakes are so low.
Let’s say you’re shooting off fireworks and it is scaring a neighbor. Do you tell them to get over it until they directly tell you they have PTSD from a conflict zone? Or do you just be a fucking reasonable person and stop?
Of course I would stop at their request, however if I were that person with PTSD, I wouldn’t expect the world to cater to my disabilities and strategise on how I could function in society by managing it. That’s what I currently do with my own PTSD and it makes me a stronger person for it.
Also, that’s hardly comparable to using the phrase “you guys” in a conversation. That phrase has always been gender neutral and far nicer sounding than “you people” or “you all”.
Edit: and also, yes I would have no idea on why the other party would take offence to the phrase “you guys” but I would also be under no obligation to establish a friendship with them beyond that conversation. I don’t expect someone I’ve just met to trauma dump on me and I don’t want them to.
Of course, I would correct myself in that conversation and not use the phrase “you guys” after they’ve told me not to use it, because it’s polite to do so, but that won’t stop me feeling that I can’t be myself around them.
People with PTSD should absolutely be catered to the fuck are you on about? Would you say this about victims of sexual assault?
Well, there’s a massive difference between “don’t call me a guy” and someone saying “hey guys” to a group to have one member fire back a response about gendered terms
One of these is clear stating of respectful boundaries, the other one is just offloading (and very likely speaking for/over others) to score imaginary purity points
I just told you I would respect it. But I don’t view “you guys” as something divisive. So yeah I don’t want to be around those people
Man if all it takes is a pretty basic language disagreement with somebody for you to not want to associate with them, you’re going to struggle to maintain a social life outside of MAGA fuckbois. And even then you’ll have to get used to them shrieking when you use the word “racist.”
Nah I’m doing pretty ok.
Also fuck maga
Then you’re clearly not as hardline as you’re pretending to be
I’m not pretending? And I’m also not hard-line
Sure, but we’re talking plurals of strangers atm. “Please don’t call me a guy going forward” is a different conversation than “what you just said is stupid, mean, and wrong”.
Your facts are not what OP wrote, though. And in this context the facts are relevant, which is the point.
Bad red herring.
It’s the same picture?
No it really isn’t. One clearly and directly communicates a need. The other response shies away from that and insults without explaining why.
Drag… Supposes, that’s how it would look without applying much empathy. But if someone gets called something and says it’s bad, it must be clear they don’t like it. If they’re angry, that’s a kind of upset. It means they could be hurting. Drag would understand no matter how someone phrased it.
If the other party is 3, then yes. From adults I expect ability to differentiate between stating a need and throwing a tantrum.
Drag is very forgiving when a trans person is upset they’ve been misgendered. Growing up as the wrong gender is traumatic. It can literally give you cPTSD and personality disorders. Being triggered because you feel like you’re back in that situation is a completely understandable response. Drag uses gender neutral “guys”, but acknowledges that it’s a dangerous practice, and if you hurt someone then you need to own it. They don’t owe anyone politeness in that moment. If drag didn’t like that responsibility, drag wouldn’t take risks with other people’s mental health.
Out of curiosity, have your therapist told you ever about the dangers of using third person pronoun when expressing yourself? Like it strengthens the disassociation between you and your body and mind, etc. etc? If not, please change them.
This is coming from a genuine place, I’m not trying to be sarcastic or mean.
Or, just maybe. The person remarking is an asshole. It gives off the same energy as correcting grammar when talking with someone.
Why does the other persons energy matter? If someone requests not to be called something and you continue to call them that then you are kinda being a jerk.
Cause it’s rude. Like correcting grammar in a conversation. Both would be equally rude.
Nobody wants to be told that what they’ve learned and have been taught to them their whole life is now an offense. Just like nobody wants to be misgendered on purpose.
“Learning new things is offensive”
Big yikes
Being told you’re an idiot and everything you’ve learned is wrong in front of others is “yikes”
Or you could’ve simply gone “cool no worries didn’t mean anything by it” and move on not using the word instead of demanding they let you continue to do it.
“The earth is flat”. “Ok, cool. Didn’t mean anything by it.”
A bit hyperbolic, but that is how i imagine it sounds to older people. Perspective goes both ways.
If someone asks you to stop something simple and of no consequence to you just do it out of respect. Why does everyone feel entitled to a concrete argument and being convinced before just respecting folks? It’s ridiculous.
My parents hate curse words. I curse a fuck ton. When I’m at their house, I don’t curse (well…as much). I don’t demand a sufficiently acceptable reason for not doing it any more than I don’t need someone explain to me why they want me to take my shoes off in their home. Just don’t be an ass and do it. Don’t demand an explanation like you’re some hot shit being wildly burdened.
Someone called someone “the R word” at my house in front of my kids. I just said “don’t use that word please” and that was the end of it. Didn’t talk about my kids or ableism or anything, I just said “stop please,” they just said “cool sorry” and moved on. This is just how it should be most of the time.
The fact that you’re getting downvoted for essentially saying “just be a respectful, reasonable, and decent human being” is pretty bizarre. Like, can we just have some empathy and patience for each other?
No I demand an explanation NOW for why I can’t call someone something
If someone asks you to stop something simple and of no consequence to you just do it out of respect. Why does everyone feel entitled to a concrete argument and being convinced before just respecting folks? It’s ridiculous.
What about half of the people in the comments seem to fail to understand is that the way the lady correcting OP’s language is the biggest factor.
Her saying “hey, could you please not refer to me as a guy?” is completely different from her getting angry and going off on a rant. The former situation is worth continuing the discussion, and the latter situation leads to people rightfully avoiding that lady.
It gives off the same energy as correcting grammar when talking with someone.
Is this a personal attack?
Sir, you’re an officer of the law. You can’t help but be who you are. It’s ok to own it.
There is a time and a place for it. Just not when you want someone to agree with or like you. 🙂
It’s just as much not a problem for them to be offended by it as it is for you to choose your words better. Knowing that you made a choice to offend so yeah, you’re the jerk. You’re honestly making a lot more of it if you went all this distance to think you’re the one hard done by just cuz you refuse to memorize some words. That’s snowflake thinking.
Only bad actors looking for the drama go for the path of most resistance.
Changing the language you intuitively use is hard
So is remembering somebody’s name but you somehow manage to do that
No, that’s different. Names occupy a different role than generic words, and you’re primed to be able to handle that. To claim that’s the same thing as replacing common words is dishonest or uninformed.
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This is fake and gay. Literally
Yeah, the fact that OP mentioned being at a party was sus. Nobody who posts on 4 Chan is ever invited to parties.
Yeah, 20 dudes is rookie numbers
Ikr? I’ve fucked more guys than that, and I’m straight
I think he was referring to so far that night, right? Right?!?
i mean, he is an anon.
Yep, these are manufactured posts meant to create hate against women from something that never happened.
People really dont understand how languages work. Even brother and man can be gender neutral. If you say “man, whyd you do that” thats gender neutral. Same with dude and guy.
gay men call each other sis and girl all the time too, for alternatives that go in reverse
Idk about the rest of it but dude and guys can totally be gender neutral and i hate people that dont get that. Its such a bitchy thing to get mad about
Also queen, “James, you’re such an Excel queen”. I’ve seen this sort of use many times at my workplace. It doesn’t have anything to do with gender or sexual orientation.
It’s obviously more niche than “dude” but I’ve seen it before.
claims they understand gendered language
describes someone as “bitchy”
Claims to understand language
doesn’t understand word is being used in a non-gendered manner… The verb is completely detached from the noun in normal use. You could say Elon musk is the world’s richest bitch and that would not be even insulting. That would be a snide way to say he is exceedingly wealthy. If I said Elon Musk that rich bitch? then again, bitch would not be being used in a derogatory or gendered manner. If I said Elon musk is a massive bitch. Now we have finally arrived at an insult. Still not gendered.
Edit side to snide
But like…I think it goes beyond just gender specificity & is also an attempt to address the embedded patriarchy of our culture & language. Those interjection words being male of center as a default is something I wanna unpack, too.🤷🏽
As another comment said “queen” being gender neutral and coming from a word used for females originally. Also patriarchy is embedded in language but you cant really change it. Its always better to agree on a gender neutral phrase than have an infight(classic left wing moment…) and then revert to the previous gendered language because of it. We should all just speak hungarian, barely any gendered stuff in there(def not biased because its my mother tounge)
Yes! Thank you for stating this.
Then let’s also start using sis and girl when referring to men. BOOM EQUALITY!
Lol Elon Musk would probably start banning all users who did this on Twitter if it gained any traction.
Whatever you say, girliepop
I’m a man but I love when people call me babygirl or something like that
Yo, something like that, send nudes
8=>
Niiiiice. This is like porn in the 00s.
Yours:
Mine: 8=========>
don’t body shame me :'//
Is this the latest iteration of “tits or GTFO”? I haven’t been keeping up
It was a dad joke and you missed it.
This. I’ve got a fair few trans friends, and we’re all in agreement - unless it’s obvious we’re talking in gendered terms based on context, “dude”, “man”, “bro”, etc are just interjections, not reference to someone’s gender. And, when we are talking in gendered contexts, we tend to be pretty clear about that.
It’s really great that you have friends who are in a good enough place to not worry about that stuff.
And pussy, right?
Human … man, it’s a just shorter version 😉
Is woman short for womb-man?
No, the etymology is actually completely distinct from the gendered usage of “man.” It’s actually quite interesting.
Bro y u so wrong
Thats a joke right? Because youre getting downvoted, but you yourself called me bro without knowing my gender so it must be a joke or youre the most oblivious person ive ever seen.
Is jokes
I hope they’re joking, otherwise they need to get back to Facebook with the rest of their ilk.
Would be a classic facebook moment. Gender neutral guy is like singular they/them. “That is not natural bla bla bla, use he/she” and then you ask them “do you know who alex is” and they respond “no, i dont know who they are” which is using singular they or just assume their gender.
Wat?
I definitely use “guy” as gender neutral. I used to refer to women as “dude” as well, but it was a bit controversial so I stopped
I’m a dude. He’s a dude. She’s a dude. We’re all dudes!
I also follow the Less than Jake linguistic model.
We need a new word. I suggest blob
Beware of the blob, it creeps, and leaps, and slides and glides along the floor, right through the door and all around the wall, a splotch, a blotch, be careful of the blob POP
“Ladydudes” is the way to go.
Please dont ever call me ladydude, dude is fine 😅
Dudes and Dudettes
Ya’ll
That spelling is “ya[you] will” and I’ll brook no disagreement. As in, “ya’ll turn right at the Sunoco and go three more rights. Then it’ll be on ya left.”
The OTS is “y’all” for “you all.”
Yinz
If you must use a redneckism then at least put the apostrophe in the right place.
apostrophes are for stupid libs
/s
What yal’l talking 'bout?
You can’t tell me what to do. (But you are still correct…)
I have used y’all in a singular sense, then all of y’all in a plural sense before 🤦
All ya’ll drawl an appall.
That’s some deep south nonsense right there.
Gentlemen and gentle women.
if someone called me that, I would immediately throw up
That’s on you, ladydude
Hey, ladydude !
i was able to make it to the bathroom in time. this time…
Evolution
Dude is also genderless.
I’m a dude. He’s a dude. She’s a dude. We’re all dudes!
Cunt is also genderless.
I’m a cunt. He’s a cunt. She’s a cunt. We’re all cunts!
Me? I know who I am! I’m a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.
I worked at a university and I heard women call each other “bro” all the time.
My teenage daughters say “bruh” pretty often.
bruh
My gen z sister in law says bro way more than me.
Almost like OP is making shit up
It is almost certainly made up for the sake of the joke, but I’ve absolutely met women like this.
Dude for me is genderless, but it’s not a label everyone can fit into, you gotta be chill.
If they don’t abide, they lack dudeness
Agreed
I have female colleagues that have yelled at me for calling them dude.
Depends on the context.
“Hey Brian, were you making out with a dude last night!?”
“Haha, no, that was Annie, she’s a chick, she just has short hair.”
Dude(s) and Guy(s) can be gender neutral or male-only. Girl can mean a female child, or it can mean a woman, depending on the context.
That means it’s not gender neutral, it just means you use male as a default in most contexts.
Its gener neutral male leaning and is context specific. Like bastard or fucker.
“Bastard” is what you call “male leaning” because it was used for male children born outside of marriage who therefore couldn’t inherit titles.
It wasn’t used much for girls cause they couldn’t inherit titles anyway, so it didn’t matter.“Fucker” is “male leaning” cause women were historically not seen as doing the fucking. They were fucked.
But pegging.
Butt*
I feel like it’s a PhD thesis material
Only in the right class.
Dude is a network monitoring tool as well.
Nah, that’s the dude
No, that’s the admin of my instance, and he’s not a tool, he’s quite chill.
And The Dude abides
but am i a dude?
No.
ö
If you have to ask…
This is a good joke but it really lets itself down by switching from “guys” to “dudes” when it’s about the former word…
I always “y’all” and I’m not even from the south.
i’m from australia and i’ve adopted yall for exactly that reason
it also makes me real happy that some very transphobic shit heads would be furious if they knew that “their word” was part of the solution to gender neutral terminology
Y’all gives modern English the second person plural it would otherwise be missing
Missing? It is that part of speech! 😁 “You all,” the thing it conjoins, is proper English and the accurate thing to say. We do have it. We just refuse to try harder to be less patriarchal bc “guy” has less syllables. And most of the time it’s preceded by “you” anyway, so not even shorter. (If I’m wrong, someone please correct me)
I take the time to correct myself in meetings, “when can you guys- ahem you all” - no apology, bc I’m doing my best, and demonstrating in my actions.
What about youse?
Yousa bombad, meesa like muy muy!
I hate you with every fiber of my being
I’ve always been fond of “yinz”, despite never having been to Pittsburgh
Yinz welcome to try our chipped ham ‘n’at regardless
Heys youse guys!
Youse mugs
“You” used to be that word, but mfs didn’t wanna say “thou” anymore so “you” has to pull double duty now
In Ireland it’s still very common to use ‘ye’ for you plural.
Hear ye, hear ye.
Yous.
The only two things the South got right were “y’all” and biscuits and gravy.
And chicken and waffles. And BBQ.
Honestly, not actually a fan of y’all, but they have some fantastic food.
Try some chicken and waffles when you get the chance - 5000 calories have never tasted so good.
Chicken and waffles are about as authentically southern as General Tso’s chicken is authentically Chinese.
In parts of the south “y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural.
As a super non-Southern USA guy, anytime I drop a “y’all” into convo, my Southerner friends say I’m not doing it right because I simply substitute all “you” instances with “y’all”.
I guess these friends don’t come from the singular-y’all part of the South.
What?
“Would ya’ll like a soda?” Vs. “Would all ya’ll like a soda?” - one of these means everyone shares one soda, the other means each person gets their own - but I don’t know which is which :O
You misspelled coke. Nobody says “soda” in the south, coke covers that. You have sprite coke, root beer coke, etc.
Y’all is a really good pronoun and I think more people should use it.
As someone from the west coast, I disagree.
It makes everyone sound American. This is sometimes okay.
As a Canadian, I use y’all, but usually only if the word ‘motherfuckers’ immediately follows it.
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