Could barely talk a year ago. I was very depressed and lonely. Have went to stay at psychiatric clinics a couple of times. Only just recently got out again, but this time it was shorter than usua, only a couple of days. I’ve made some progress and now i can actually form a coherent sentence. Still incredibly afraid to talk to people. Still, after all this time I really don’t know the basics of social interaction How do you initiate a conversation with someone? How do you make friends?
As someone who would identify as being in your position about 5 years ago, I’ll still say regular group activities, hobby meetups (and volunteering if you have time/ability) are the best things. Joining a local walking group and board game group was a real turning point for me - Just getting used to people in a very casual context, with an activity to focus around, was great.
I was basically unable to converse (it literally took me a week of agonising over making a ‘casual enough’ text asking to join), and after about a year of going every few weeks, I improved to just “kinda bad” at conversing, which has been such a life-changing step up. I started feeling able to start basic conversations with strangers, I actively engage and reach out to more people/organisations/events to thrust myself into social situations. And every now and then people actually express a desire to talk with me which is mind-bogglingly flattering.
I think there’s plenty of luck still. If you can find one or two people who are good at starting conversations with you, then you can slowly steal their techniques and use them on others.
Making long term friends is still hard, but these things are the best (though imperfect) solutions I’ve found. I think you just have to keep trying? I’m not sure. I’ve made a couple long-term friends online with games and niche wikis, but there’s no denying: It’s super hard. I’m still looking for better ways myself.