A huge bucket of family drama was upended on me yesterday and when I sat down to write about it, I got all vague and glossed over it, even though I probably need to get it out somehow. I trust the people in my life not to read my journal but seemed like a risk or even a betrayal of confidence to put the words down.
Do you hold anything back, or is it all laid out bare? How did you get past the internal censor so you could write to clear your head?
I don’t hold back. I’ve learned that if people wanted me to write kindly about them, they should’ve behaved better toward me. Also, they shouldn’t snoop through my shit.
One day, I’m sure my kids will read my journals. They’ll get a better understanding of what my mind was like and who I am as a person. I’m not perfect, and I like to hope that I’ve raised them to be compassionate humans. Maybe they won’t judge me too harshly for being a stupid ass while I was growing and learning and making mistakes.
More than anything my journals are for me. I write what I feel and what I think. I get things out of my head so it’s not so full all the time, so I can be more clear headed when I need to be. It’s also an extension of my brain. I have a neurological condition and my working memory sucks. Writing down my memories helps me not to forget important things, but also mundane things that I want to remember- like when my kids did something cute or silly.
So no, I don’t hold back, because my journal is a part of who I am- flaws and all. If I can’t be comfortable within my own skin and in my own mind, then I have a bigger problem.
Part of the reason I use journalling is for self therapy (it’s honestly better than actual therapy in my experience), so no I don’t hold back. I literally just write about whatever I feel like at the time.
It’s very freeing, especially to an anxious mind like mine!
I don’t. I kinda trust people in my family to not open my journals but I also keep my journals with me most of the time and I write in another language so bigger part of my family can’t read them. Also if there’s something I’m scared of writing even in another language I write it in my script I made for this when I was a kid. Yeah, sometimes I’m kinda paranoid lol
My journaling journey started digitally so I never had the worry of someone else reading it.
Moreover, I needed a space where I was true to myself, and that allowed me to introspect with truths and facts. This has become so ingrained that I just cannot write a lie or omit a crucial detail to the point of me feeling guilty/wrong if I even think of doing so.
I always hold back in my journal because I want to feel good when I look back through my pages, and not get triggered all over again.
If I want to vent/let go of negativity, I use sites like http://www.pixelthoughts.co/ and set myself free 😊
I live with my spouse, and no one else, so I tend to be pretty honest. Anything I write, I’ve probably at least hinted at to her already and the only scenario where she’d actively read looking for data is one where e.g., I was unconscious and she needed to know when I last logged that I had taken some medicine or etc.
In other living scenarios, I’ve found it much more difficult to be that open and honest - not because I didn’t trust the people I lived with, but because if ever I accidentally walked away from a page without closing it, it might well be difficult for someone to avoid seeing.
As @Shurf116@lemmy.ml points out, languages and alternative scripts come in handy here as well. I don’t use it often, but I’m still passingly comfortable with a rune set I used way back in high school to pass notes with friends. It’s hardly ‘secure,’ but avoids legitimate accidental glances.
How the hell I remember that script thirty years later, I’ve not a clue, especially since I’m fairly certain we made part of it up from whole cloth way back when.
I tend not to commit to writing things that would be particularly indefensible, or at least to be circuitous about it if I do. Just because I haven’t anything particular to hide today does not mean that I won’t need to hide a thought or feeling in the foreseeable future.
I write with the assumption that my journals will be read either when I’m not around, or after I die. Were I to write everything, I’d have to burn the books when I finish one, and there’s stuff in them I’d prefer to keep.
I did but I learned not to do it anymore. I just put all my thoughts in and keep it out of reach of other people. The best for self reflection is being able to write your thoughts out.
