You don’t even know the half of it.

Remember the Russian sucking dick right before getting blown up by a drone? I think about how life is cruel sometimes.

My friend convinced a 45 yr old pharmacist to divorce her husband and leave her family. He dumped her right after.

Huh, socialism really is gay…

Mad catz? Haven’t heard that name in a while.

… there were people voting for stein?

Don’t forget the commercials before and after you pay FML

I would rather someone be rude and fight for what’s right then someone nice that’s propagating a system of injustice because “my 15 mins are valuable”

Whoosh that’s were the DV came from.

“Why did I get a severe fish allergy out of nowhere? Strange…”

Ikr? How is wine measured in slabs…

So this is what true evil looks like…

Chupacabra makes sense, those damn mexican goat thieves.

Bohemian rhapsody - it’s one of the greatest songs ever made, just curious to see how it would retard the progression of music.

I genuinely feel like that is one of the dying north American traditions

All they had to do is say all the tables are reserved. Not “leave!!! You ugly!!!”

Huh thought he only did rock

It’s easier to be gay then colored. There’s some real conspiracies behind that.

Wait, so you’re saying my friends named Washington and Franklin might have some dark history?

Blursed