- cross-posted to:
- nonpolitical_memes@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- nonpolitical_memes@lemmy.ml
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If you watch Titanic in reverse it’s about a sad lady floating on a door who idly fishes a cute boy out of the ocean and brings him onto a big fancy steamship that has conveniently sprouted up over by an iceberg, where they have steamy no-strings vacation sex until they split up because they each find new boyfriends on the ship they’d rather go to Europe with.
You’re forgetting the part where on her deathbed, she doesn’t think about her husband she spent decades with, or her children, or her family at all. She thinks about a random homeless guy she fucked as a rebellious teen.
Absolute cinema.
I also wasted an entire ship’s manhours and fuel to look for something I had in my pocket all along.
Titanic was the story of a manic pixie dream boy fixing a rich woman with his penis.
The titanic is far better as an engineering failure story.
I prefer it as a “lol, as if” hubris from someone that read “The wreck of the Titan, or: Futility”
I saw that movie with my dad, who spent years reading about the Titanic because he took an interest in it for some reason.
I’m not sure which one of us hated that movie more.
I’m glad that people are looking back on it these days and realizing it was just not a good movie.
If you want to see a good Titanic movie, check out A Night to Remember, made in the UK in 1958. Sure, it won’t have the dazzling special effects. It also doesn’t have a stupid as fuck plot.
If you take out the Jack/Rose love story and add some of the Californian’s scenes and a bit in the wireless room, you could edit Cameron’s Titanic down to a pretty good remake of A Night to Remember. He was clearly influenced by it, some scenes are lifted straight from the ANtR narrative even though they are known to be inaccurate (Andrews in the first class smoking room, Smith on the bridge as the ship goes down come to mind).
I like the Cameron Titanic, actually. The love story notwithstanding, it’s well worth watching for his attention to detail. The reconstruction of the ship was meticulous, and with a few notable exceptions for dramatic license, the account of the sinking is quite accurate (for the information we had at the time - we now know the breakup is incorrect, but at the time it was the best theory) and contains quite a few easter eggs for Titanic nerds. (like me)
That said… I love A Night to Remember and watch it every year on the anniversary of the sinking. The book is well worth reading, too. Walter Lord assembled his narrative based on correspondence with as many survivors as he could reach - often verbatim as they told it, and it’s really a riveting read.
The breakup theory is incorrect? So the ship didn’t split in half?
Did no one ever go down there before the movie was made, or did it break under water?
No, it did split in half. It just didn’t reach such a steep angle before it did. There’s two great videos by Oceanliner Designs that go in-depth on what the movie got wrong, as well as what likely actually happened during the breakup.
What the movie got wrong An analysis of the breakup
There also a video that goes more indepth on what the movies got wrong in general.
If you want to see a good Titanic movie, check out A Night to Remember, made in the UK in 1958. Sure, it won’t have the dazzling special effects. It also doesn’t have a stupid as fuck plot.
Did it have a dude bouncing off a propeller while emitting the Wilhelm Scream? I didn’t think so.
I don’t understand how either of you would be upset watching the movie. The rich girl slept with a homeless guy, and then she let him drown.
It’s movie magic
That, and I have a memory of my father saying something along the lines of, “why were we supposed to care about those two fictional people when there were real people on the Titanic?” I do not disagree.
The entire movie was a build up to the guy hitting the propellers.
I wonder if you could edit Jack and Rose out of the movie and make it good?
That’s an interesting idea. I’d like to know the result, too.
Gotta keep all of Billy Zanes scenes though.
How about a super short but also super high budget edutainment show?
Being a huge nerd on certain topics tend to ruin the fun of watching movies.
True, but I was not a nerd on the topic. I just thought it was stupid to shoehorn a boring forbidden love subplot into a movie about the most famous fucking ship sinking of all time as if that alone wasn’t dramatic enough.
What about Noah’s Ark? What about the Argo?
Keep that made up Bible shit out of God’s house (Lemmy)
What about the U.S.S. Enterprise?
I’m not talking about fictional ships.
Also, the Ark famously did not sink.
Then the Bismarck, the Marat or the Yamato? Or Space Battleship Yamato?
Yes? In fact, I haven’t even heard of the Marat.
Also, none of those ships have this many movies about them:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_about_the_Titanic
I was joking around.
That said, I think there are an infinite amount of films about the Yamato in Japan.
Also, there are no Swedish power metal songs about the Titanic, but there is at least one about the Bismarck and the Dreadnought.
Also, the Dreadnought named a whole ship class internationally.
The Argo isn’t fictional. It was a prominent part of the Hellenic religion’s myths. People believed in it.
People believed and still believe in a lot of fictional things.
I’m not sure why you think “people believed in it” is an argument for the existence of anything. You’re even calling it a myth yourself. You might look up the meaning of that word.
Gender is also a myth. You might as well argue Socrates wasn’t a famous man, because maleness is a myth.
Argo fuck yourself (speaking of bad movies).
I mean, if I was gonna drown, I wouldn’t mind hooking up beforehand. Just saying.
But would you take the time to be a nude artist’s model?
How cold is the pool water?
Technically, he froze to death.
Technical there was room for two on that door
Cameron tested this. There was room for both on the door, but only in a very specific orientation could they both stay dry. And because she was wearing more clothes than he was, even if Jack makes it out of the water, he’s still hypothermic and won’t survive.
Edit: It’s a NatGeo doc called “Titanic: 25 years later.” They’re in a pool that’s 56 degrees F. You can find it on streaming someplace, but here’s a clip. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEJph0aIP-U
Everyone is all “actually it would be impossible” like this bitch did math before telling the guy to go fuck himself.
Only if they both had the knowledge and frame of mind to engi her flotation devices from the life vest rose was wearing. Otherwise the door would have sunk enough for them to freeze to death before rescue came. Provides they knew rescue was coming after a certain time.
Considering one was a socialite, and the other a freelance artist, and both had just almost been killed multiple times… no, I don’t think they would have had the foresight to come up with the exact scenario that would have saved them both.
No there wasnt.
Room for 2? Maybe. Buoyancy for 2? No.
There is a Mythbusters episode on this. Rose literally and figuratively fucked Jack.
I don’t recall the full episode but a few things stood out.
- it would be cold as hel, so properly strapping a lifevest around some flotsam seems iffy
- isn’t saltwater more buoyant or is that old fishwife’s tale? Also idk if that test body of water is salty.
Only if they had the knowledge and abilities (and time to come up with a plan) of two people whose job it is to come up with exactly this kind of thing.
Sure, it was possible. That doesn’t make it probable.
“Climb on the door” seems like something within their knowledge and abilities.
I take it you didn’t actually watch the mythbusters episode, then. If they both just climbed on the door they would have both died. They would have had to jury-rig a contraption using the life-preserver Rose was wearing to survive… barely.
It would somewhat undermine the core of their narrative being a tragedy within a larger tragedy though.
So romantic!
Context?
The movie Titanic by James Cameron. It was very highly regarded, but the plot is a woman in her deathbed recounting how she is spending her final moments thinking about a random homeless dude she fucked as a teen and then let drown, instead of her children or husband or…literally anything else.
Yes, please guys. Always wear context.
titanic movie’s story :)
Spoilers!
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