Edit: also this forum isn’t the worst place to start. User ReadFanon has written great posts and comments about ADHD and AuDHD, which I found very helpful.

Here is a way to rethink the word lazy:

Lazy is if you can enjoy inaction: It is Sunday, I wanted to clean up my basement and work out. The sun is shining and a friend wants to hang out by the lake. I agree and we spent half the day loafing around, drinking beer by the lake. I was lazy and that’s alright because I had a good day. Maybe I feel a mild sense of guilt but so what. I know I will get around to it another day and no real harm was done.

Lazy is not: I want to get up but can’t. I want to clean my room, but don’t know where to start so I don’t. I want to do my work but can’t. I want to do things for myself that I know will be good for me, but yet I still have only moved from bed to couch and back. For days, weeks, months. Years?

If your chronic inaction creates suffering and regret, you are not lazy. Your brain fails at providing you with a baseline of motivation, often stemming from both a chemical imbalance and long term acquired behavioural patterns.

ADHD is a very typical reason, depression another one. Sometimes one masks the other and autism correlates so strongly with ADHD, that people have coined the term AuDHD.

Please be kind to yourself and if you can, seek help from a psychiatrist or other mental health provider.

Disco Elysium took me three tries over three years to finish. I always knew I liked it, but I had to find the right moment in time for it to grip me. The music, the vibe, the art… But soo much reading.

Same with Dark Souls, same with Outer Wilds. All three are now among my favourite games of all time.

If it’s not for you, it’s perfectly fine. But some pieces of art are good because they are not the instant dopamine delivery method. I played vampire survivors for like 6 hours straight and never touched it again. I’ll always think about Harry and Kim.

And yes, if you have ADHD, give it a try medicated. We always chase the dopamine and that sometimes blinds us to slower paced, more rewarding joy.

Thesis: ANarchism

Antithesis: brat

Synthesis: bratAN

Gwondolier, Conspictor of Fartflames non-stop 35-attack-combo is a little much, but I think after the last three days I’m getting the hang of it.

Congratulations!

It is genuinely amazing how entirely different people in different places of the world can have the exact same experience. I could have written that post almost word for word. Got my diagnosis last year (in my 30s) and it is exactly what you wrote: relief above all else. It ties my life story together. An invisible line steering towards chaos, that I have followed all my life.

Get some meds asap. They can be truly life-changing for us.

2 weeks ago CrowdStrike was just permanently taking up 30% of my CPU and kept my laptop running on maximum fan power. Apparently also due to a faulty update. Holy fuck, what is that company doing. And why is apparently everywhere?

Half my company is shut down. Laptops crash into blue screens after bios post and probably need to be wiped. Gotta love Microsoft. Exceptional customer service.

The stock indices have reached new records after every single crash . Because capitalism must grow. Line must go up. Because if line go down, the whole promise of return of investment goes out of the window and the thing collapses. Any money you put in the market as a whole (ETFs), will be worth more in the future than it is now. But it has to be money that you don’t need to rely on in the next 15-20 years, so it’s exclusively for people who are rich already.

Everything else, like picking a single stock like those GameStop idiots, is just straight up gambling. Betting on horse racing is equally as productive.

Write that sentence down. Then read it again.

And then grab someone you trust and make them help you find a psychiatrist. It involves lists and calling and waiting and planning and appointments, aka all the things you are probably terrible at. So get help if possible.

Just a general word: ADHD is a dimensional disorder. Meaning, there isn’t a single identifying symptom that differentiates ADHD from say, a more neurotypical person that is a bit disorganised. Everyone forgets shit, everyone is late once in a while and everyone fidgets when they are nervous.

So the question you have to ask yourself (and which will be part of the diagnosis): How often does that happen? Is this majorly impacting the direction your life is going and are you okay with it?

If the answers are “pretty much everyday” and “I would not be where I am, if I didn’t behave like that and I feel like I can’t do anything about it even though I want to”, you have a pretty good indication.

Your wording and descriptions all sound very much like my (inattentive) ADHD to me.

Tying carry weight to your strength stat is just wild. Oh you’re a caster? Good luck carrying that ebony cuirass out of here.

Then again, it is morrowind, so you can just cast Feather on yourself to carry more stuff OR even cast Burden on the enemy and suddenly they are overencumberd. Or drink strength potions. Or just fly. Or make a stupid amount of money in various ways, making loot kind of neglectable.

Critical support to your dad. The horny Anne Frank album is not exactly what I would call driving music.

What a miracle it was. A genuinely leftists game filled to the brim with creativity, humor, charm, absurdity, personality, world building and gut wrenching drama. A political game, in every sense of the word and an instant cult classic. So good that even the mainstream simply could not ignore it and just had to roll with the moment.

Of course it couldn’t last. Nothing good in this world ever does.

Nuclear power is literally more expensive at this point than renewables. No, you can’t keep using the shitty, cracking, deadly waste producing nuclear plants of the past, not even the power companies want that, and building new ones takes over 10 years, not counting all the planning and beaurocracy you have to go through. And to become CO2 neutral after all the excavation, construction and mining necessary takes another decade. Nuclear power plants are MASSIVE engineering undertakings.

Meanwhile modern windmills can be mass-produced right now and take like 5 years depending on their placement to be both cost and CO2 neutral. After that it’s LITERALLY free energy for a good 30 years. And they become cheaper and bigger and more efficient every single year. And btw if you ever pull out an article or a calculation that is older than a year for any comparison, you are dealing with OLD data. They have become far more efficient and flexible in their placement and will likely continue to do so.

The anti-nuclear protests were completely right. Stop playing the people who wanted a safer world without nuclear waste and incidents against the modern climate movement.

TL;DR: Wheels on windmill go brrrr, nuclear power is not a short term solution and never has been.

Googling that just brought up weird ass crank pages. Not that gang, sorry.

Not that I don’t enjoy a good intelligence conspiracy, but I’ll go with Occam’s razor here. Russians poisoning a rowdy russian political activist with good old russian warcrime chemicals is as good as any explanation.

Feels like this is the only lesson from this.

The motherfucker was a real believer in… whatever variation of a liberal-fash ego trip he made up for himself. The russian state and judicial system fucked with him at every point of his attempt to stir the public or participate in politics and for some fucking reason he kept pushing his luck.

Then they poisoned him with chemical weapon grade poison and almost killed him, then he got offered one last possible exit from ANGELA MERKEL herself. And he just went back. Commited to the bit till the end.

Then why do the cops put them on tanks and shoot them at people?

Love popOS, but it did not play well with my multi monitor setup. It just couldn’t deal with different resolutions (qhd laptop, two fhd monitors) and sizes. Mint can. So I am back to Mint and stopped worrying about distro hopping.

But if a game does provide a win state, then I think that carries with it the implicit promise that the win state is reachable if the player demonstrates sufficient skill.

Almost all rougeliktes I’ve ever played, did that. An actual inevitable fail state is very very rare. It’s always about juggling odds, making decisions, balancing risks and very rarely does one play optimal. The challenge is that the difficulty curve can be all over the place. This monster was easy to beat, but you don’t know if the next one is the run killer.

Slay the Spire feels like a unforgiving game if you don’t get your good cards and relics at Ascension 1. Except of course that the best players can beat Ascension 20 (about 5 times harder I’d say) with 50+% consistency and would almost never fail at low difficulties.

DCSS is full of random bullshit, getting shafted, out of depth monsters, bad loot etc. Yet people have insane winstreaks on even weak combinations.

Listening to a good commentated run by a highly skilled player always reset my perspective on everything I thought was bullshit or inevitable. I am the problem and I can solve it by improving.