I’ve been unemployed for almost 6 months now. I wasn’t even paid enough while I was working, but now, I’ve depleted all my savings, my credit card balance is going up, I’m not even sure how much longer I can keep collecting unemployment, I still have absolutely zero job prospects, I’m having a hard time affording anything that gives me genuine enjoyment.
Beyond money, I don’t have a good social life. I really only have acquaintances who would all rather be with other people. Me thinking about finding love feels like me thinking about being a billionaire, basically just a fantasy so far from the conditions of my life, it’s absurd.
If I finally get a job, what then? I still have to scrounge to financially recover? I’m still alone? What do I even have to live for?
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Capitalism gets so many people to this point, yet so many people still have so much aversion to tearing it down.I’m really wishing the best for you. I’m in a decently similar spot, at least mentally, and I’m hoping I can get whatever happiness I can get in this system.
Because we are going to win, and it is going to be glorious.
I am glad you exist.
I love you and am happy you’re here
Buckminster Fuller was at the end of his existential rope, was contemplating suicide after his daughter died from complications that he blamed on his own poverty and inability to provide. He lost his job, and was going to drown himself.But then he had an epiphany and decided to kick ass instead.
“From now on you need never await temporal attestation to your thought. You think the truth. You do not have the right to eliminate yourself. You do not belong to you. You belong to the Universe. Your significance will remain forever obscure to you, but you may assume that you are fulfilling your role if you apply yourself to converting your experiences to the highest advantage of others.[21]”
Went on to invent tons of cool shit, geodesic domes, just led an amazing life. I too suffer from chronic depression but I think about Bucky a lot
I’m very genuinely glad it’s clearly helpful to you and others, but I personally find these kind of narratives to be negative, bordering on harmful.
Nobody is ever suffering heavily, and then just ‘decide to kick ass’, like it’s just a decision you take. No doubt his recovery from anxiety and depression was a lot more complicated, involved a lot of other people, and was a far longer road, than that. Cool life story and goal, nonetheless.
Having had a friend recently commit suicide I realized my ability to actually influence people and affect change is limited. There was literally nothing anyone could do, he wanted to die and he killed himself. I think about Bucky, he wanted to die, but he decided he help people instead. This is the only point of my comment. I can’t save anyone, I can’t fix this, all I can do is point out that there is another way.
I totally feel it, I too have had a friend commit suicide and it made me confront a lot of things. It’s cool you’re sharing these stories and how they inspire you - just saying I find my own interpretation a bit different, that’s all.
yeah that shit is toxic as fuck. what do these dorks think happens when someone tries the bullshit and fails? survivorship bias is a helluva drug
I’m sorry that my attempting to help someone is toxic as fuck. It really hurts me to hear this. I guess I’ll log of for a while.
it’s noble but frequently misguided. Don’t uncritically valorize “attempting to help”. redditors posting the hotline aren’t actually helping, the hotline itself is often directly harmful to people in crisis, and something like pouring water on a grease fire is going to make it worse 100% of the time.
“inspirational” willpower from nothing stories aren’t reproducible and are horrible to hear as someone who’s been horribly depressed for 2/3 of their shit life and has no useful agency or power.
I think it’s unfair to respond like this. I’m not a fan of the story either, personally, but it’s clearly a story that some people really do derive value from, even if you and I don’t.
it’s unfair to think anyone can just hoist themselves to famous scientist Buckminster Fuller’s drive and achievements and it blows to have that lib shit coming from comrades
Except they didn’t say ‘anyone can just hoist themselves’, they just said it’s something they think about a lot. They were empathising and sharing a story they found helpful, that was all.
Your significance will remain forever obscure to you, but you may assume that you are fulfilling your role if you apply yourself to converting your experiences to the highest advantage of others.
I needed this too, thank you ❤️
this is just Christian moral ethics about suicide for atheists
You do not belong to you. You belong to the Universe. Your significance will remain forever obscure to you,
I’m sorry but
how bout fuck off telling me I do not belong to me?
hexxbear needs all the posters it can get
Vengeance. When capitalism makes life intolerable, Living is a Revolutionary Act.
Don’t let the bastards get away with it. Do what you can so others don’t suffer as you have.
I’m sorry, but I hate when people say this shit.
Maybe it works for you idkWhen capitalism makes life intolerable, Living is a Revolutionary Act.
I don’t agree. being totally alienated and suffering for more decades doesn’t change anything or contribute to a revolution. existing in our misery is just misery, it doesn’t go anywhere and our ends aren’t even served by adventurism.
I’m not talking about adventurism, I’m talking about survival in place.
Even if you stay still, in a room, posting, the system still needs to use a small amount of resources to oppress you.
Those resources are not being used on others. A thousand people who simply refuse to die can screen the acts of a dozen professional revolutionaries, and strain the system even more.
I get that its miserable, and may never end, and I do everything I can to make people’s lives better, but ultimately its not about us, it’s about “The Cause”. And we have a duty to humanity to do what we can, even if that’s just exist.
Even if you stay still, in a room, posting, the system still needs to use a small amount of resources to oppress you.
Those resources are not being used on others. A thousand people who simply refuse to die can screen the acts of a dozen professional revolutionaries, and strain the system even more.
lol wut? i’m pretty sure the only resources I’m draining are the food I eat and the electricity I use. the system would be more inconvenienced if my family put me on the street
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You’re at a low point but you can’t be thinking about all your life now. I’ve also been at the 6 month unemployment and it get you really hard. I am now happy in my life, not everything is fixed but that’s ok
Try to do small things, one step at a time
Presented without comment
I face similar struggles. While I’m currently employed part time, I don’t know what my prospects are once I’m done with school, but beyond that I don’t have much to live for either. I don’t care about life being inherently meaningless, but I haven’t been able to find anything that makes me care. People my age already have multiple years planned out ahead; some are at much more advanced positions than I am; others are talented enough to just shrug and succeed no matter where they end up. People say to not compare yourself to others, but when I have nothing under my belt beyond “I have a job and degree therefore I can eat and sleep on a bed,” I can’t help but feel pathetic and alone.
My hobbies are solitary and I don’t care about them enough to be passionate or even engage in them regularly. I have people I call friends but rarely do they call me or text me invite me anywhere, and even when they do, I simply have nothing to say. No one to love or just mindlessly fuck. I’m in contact with my family but I don’t have anything to say to them either beyond small talk. I’ve participated in orgs, and while in private my anger and hatred for the injustices around me is fermenting, in real life I just feel like all that energy is depleted and siphoned away as I experience first hand repeatedly protesting with no progress made.
I simply exist, but at the same time it feels like I’m not even here.
Life doesn’t need to have a meaning that aligns with the idealist timeline held by society/media. I’ve done long stents of unemployment (longest was 7yrs), even have the same acquaintance situation (easy to hookup, beyond that idk about relationships never seriously tried), I just try for low grade improvement since its good to have some sort of small goals, when things are bad aim for ever smaller like finding things you enjoy. There’s other approaches for consolation, like life itself when one is held down so strongly being seen as a revolutionary act though very small in the scheme of things they compound over time.
I only have credit cards since when I got kicked off medical they gave me some bs statement claiming I made 24k a year, I’ve so far made 8k this year and haven’t got back on (that extrapolating my income hurts), but this was good enough for me to get started with 2 cards since it worked as a statement of income. Now I’m recovering my credit from a bunch of identity theft I’ve had done under my name, which was weird to begin with since I only have student loans in my name, no real income nor credit history etc.
I have no reason to expect my personal situation will improve, I’m just not willing to risk a botch and ending up even worse.
Later today when the sun is down I’ll have a moment where I say to myself, “I hope that miserable hexbear poster I saw earlier today is feeling better.”
There isn’t much more I or many others here can do for you, but I have to believe that the person I saw struggling to stay afloat in this sink or swim shithole of a society can find a comfortable rhythm.
You could always try opening up about this stuff to those shallow friendships of yours, they might not be as fragile as you think.
