Please commit to your words and actions. Commit to the fucking turn you were going to make right in front of me, before stamping on the brakes at the last second. Commit to a fight after challenging me on not risking my life around your shitty driving.

Do I “want to fucking go”? You have no idea how much I want to fucking go. I have to cycle around idiots like you all day, if you step out of your armoured wankmobile i am going to sink my teeth into your flesh and not let go. I will bite your flabby fucking tits off. I will beat you with my fists and helmet and entire fucking bike until a kind samaritan pulls over to drag me away from your limp body.

Anyway, if I ever mysteriously stop posting you should be able to dox me by googling “cyclist eats driver UK”.

  • DickFuckarelli [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    48·
    5 months ago

    Tangent. I bicycle and additionally I have an e-bike I use to get around town and buy groceries. For whatever reason, drivers I swear are trying to kill me when I’m on my e-bike. It’s like the fact I can go 25mph sets off some sort of deep combustible engine hate.

    • john_browns_beard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      43·
      5 months ago

      Mine does 30 mph and I take the “lane” on 25 mph residential streets, I still occasionally have drivers pass me. It doesn’t matter that I’m riding over the speed limit, people see a bicycle and it triggers some primal instinct that they absolutely must get in front of you.

      I suspect the only reason no one has challenged me to a duel yet is that I’m a somewhat fit 190 lb man instead of a woman or someone’s grandpa. Still ride with pepper spray just in case someone decides they want to play a game of “Jail or Hospital”.

      • Speaker [e/em/eir]@hexbear.netEnglish
        18·
        5 months ago

        Am I the only person who just respects cyclists in the lane as if they were any other vehicle? Sometimes car-brains are going 15 in a 40 and I’m not trying to run them off the road, why would I do any different for the unarmored squish-vehicle? 90% of the time they just move into an empty parking line to let cars by, anyway. I cannot fathom the mind of the average driver.

        • FloridaBoi [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
          5·
          5 months ago

          People honk 0.2 seconds after the light turns green when the person in front doesn’t move. You think those types care about you or anyone else? I feel like it’s constantly matt-jokerfied

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    39·
    5 months ago

    One of them did once. So I grabbed my bike lock which is fucking massive. He took one look at it and silently got back in his truck and drove away.

    Not so big when I have a weapon in my hand that will crack your skull, apparently.

  • GreatAlbatrossAEnglish
    38·
    5 months ago

    It always baffles me how brave people are in vehicles yelling at cyclists, when it’s so expensive to pull dents and respray.

  • HotAtForty [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    32·
    5 months ago

    You know how cowboys have those little star shaped things on their shoes to kick their horse to go faster?

    Those but side mounted to ruin a cars paint job.

    A bike but it was made by Q at Q-lab with retractable side blades that come out of the wheel.

    Like, really car driver? Just to retouch your paint job on a single panel is worth more than my bike and I’m definitely fitter than you.

    • ProfessorOwl_PhD [any]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      21·
      5 months ago

      I still fondly think back on the one time 12 years ago I cycled in Utrecht. Literally every single part of the experience was better in every way than any cycling I’ve done in Britain.

    • LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA [he/him]@hexbear.netMEnglish
      16·
      5 months ago

      I’ve had other drivers try to fight me before. Shit happens all the time here. My area isn’t as dangerous as a lot of the crackers nearby will tell ya, but its not exactly safe either, so I stay strapped.

      • an_actual_pigeon [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
        38·
        5 months ago

        I understand what you’re getting at - material conditions make it difficult for women to cycle, especially in North America - but as a woman who is literally a professional bike courier and spends most of my waking hours on the road cycling, I can’t help but take a little tiny bit of umbrage at your statement. Not only is “women don’t ride bikes” a factually inaccurate statement, it denies the actual courage and strength and bravery that existing women cyclists have to possess in a world that is actively hostile to us and our safety.

        There are many women who ride bikes in spite of how dangerous conditions are, and not a statistically insignificant number of them - they account for about 25% of all cyclists in the United States. I see hundreds of them every day. It takes courage from them. It’s the equivalent of reading “Well now you know why there are no women in video games” or “This is why there are no women in STEM” - again, I truly understand what you’re getting at, that there are material conditions that make these environments more hostile to women specifically. However, I’m sure you can understand why your phrasing feels a little insulting - as if these women, most of whom probably had to fight extra hard fit in, simply don’t exist. Their accomplishments, their names, mean nothing because “there are just no women who do that, sigh, what a shame - no women’s history here to celebrate”. An alternative and more accurate way of phrasing it would be “there aren’t as many women who ride bikes”. Sincerely hope I’m not being annoying or sounding like a scold or anything, but like, yeah dude, I’m a woman and ride bikes for a living, lol, there are women who ride bikes, idk what else to tell ya. also this isn’t even anything new, here’s some context on the long-standing and well-established historical strategic partnership between women and bicycles

        edit:

        In bike-unfriendly cities, only men with thick skin ride bikes

        look man, I know broad strokes paint a picture quicker, but come on, lol, that’s such a blanket statement

        • waluigiblunts [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
          16·
          5 months ago

          I understand that there are many women who ride bikes even in bike-unfriendly environments, and I never intended to belittle or insult them. I never meant to say that there are no women who ride bikes in North America. I intended to say that the hostile conditions of North America (to both women and bicycle riders) have lead to a severe underrepresentation of female bicycle riders in North American locales. Admittedly, my phrasing was a little crude, and I’m sorry that I offended you.

          • an_actual_pigeon [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
            23·
            5 months ago

            I’m sincerely sorry for taking offense at something that was clearly not directed towards me.

            I feel there’s this very common perception that women are all big soft lazy squishy babies who are automatically ontologically incapable and unwilling to perform dangerous, difficult, and risky activities, and I feel like that perception is unfortunately in the background of our world everywhere I go, almost invisible, like a constant low hum of radiation. I worry that unchecked blanket statements can help reinforce our worst biases.

            I’m self-aware enough to acknowledge that I might be projecting that insecurity onto a clearly well-intentioned hexbear post, so fr, earnestly, sorry for being annoying about it.

        • waluigiblunts [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
          15·
          5 months ago

          In bike-unfriendly cities, only men with thick skin ride bikes. In bike-friendly cities like Amsterdam and Copenhagen, the gender ratio among bicycle users is equal (or even a bit female biased.)

          (The gender ratio is severely biased towards men in bicycle-unfriendly locales)

    • SpiderFarmer [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      4·
      5 months ago

      Not sure how it compares, but here in amerikkka , drivers can get aggressive if you so much as frustratingly wave your hand at them for nearly killing you.

  • HexbearGPT [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    23·
    5 months ago

    I got punched in the face once after I flipped off a guy in a muscle car for almost hitting me in a construction zone where there was no shoulder. he pulled over in front of me, blocked me in got out and punched me in the face

  • Mardoniush [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    23·
    5 months ago

    I have 3 years of fencing and 5 years of HEMA and I have a short sword I have in my bike about 40% of the time. The question is, Do You Feel Lucky, Punk!?

  • o_d [he/him]@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
    22·
    5 months ago

    So much this. I try not to let close calls bother me these days because if I do, those few seconds ruin my entire ride. But I’ve been known to fold in a mirror on the occasion that a driver does something particularly egregious.