- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
Airport Manager Noah Karberg was robbed in broad daylight on Sunday — and the culprit has a beak and two wings. While Karberg was loading groceries into his car, a seagull swooped down, landed in his shopping cart, and made off with his wallet.
“It mugged me,” Karberg said. “It just grabbed my wallet and went.”
Karberg’s misfortune has gone viral on social media, especially since a video of the offending gull prancing about with the stolen goods emerged. The Nantucket Current caught up with a still somewhat baffled Karberg Monday to get his account of the crime.
…
“I don’t usually do the shopping. I was just coming back from fishing,” Karberg said. “So I didn’t have anywhere to put my keys and my wallet.”
So Karberg put them in the top tray of the Stop & Shop cart, thinking nothing could go wrong. He then walked around the car to open the door and begin transferring the groceries. That was when the gull struck. It wasted no time, snagging Karberg’s wallet and taking off before he could attempt to grab it back.
“My first thought was I’m going to have get that guy because I want my wallet back,” Karberg said. “My second thought was I probably look like an idiot chasing a flying bird through the parking lot.”
That’s right: Karberg chased the seagull across the Stop & Shop parking lot, over the fence, and onto the roof of the neighboring car wash before finally giving up.
The thief remains at large, despite the best efforts of the Nantucket Police Department, and Karberg has not recovered his wallet. But he appreciates the comedy nonetheless.
To be fair, that is a gigantic fucking seagull.
Seems to be a increase in the criminality of seagulls recently.
First petty theft from shops. Now muggings.
Can we ship them all to rwanda?
Flying immigrants? The EDL’s heads would explode! So let’s do it.