With my first day with real energy in awhile being coupled with two temper meltdowns, (theres been a recent med change I should mention, but every one we have seems to just vacciltate between these two states). I feel like Im just… Im either a destructive ragebeast OR a useless sleepy flop who cant do literally anything.
I really dont want to live. I really dont want t fucking live. I’m so tired of this constant fucking struggle. I cant just have a good fucking day. I’ll never accomplish anything and Ill keep hurting people and i just. Im so fucking exuasted (not literally because i still have energy, just tired of this gbullshit)
This was me on ADHD medication so this hits hard
You will find a way. Don’t worry. Focus on you, your health. It will get easier.
If it means anything at all you are one of my favourite posters here and I hope you can overcome this horrible feeling because I’ve been there and it fucking sucks.
Thank you for saying that I’m one of your favorite posters. Felt a little alone today as well.
I’m on ADHD stuff rn too. I think I need it but maybe ive been barking up the wrtong tree all this time and I actually need to drop it who knows. Switching off Adderall to another one did help with my temper a fair bit but, hmm.
Can you talk to your doctor about the adverse effects on your mood? They might be able to tweek the dose or something. Sounds like it might be a common symptom if we both had the same problem, which means it might be more likely that a solution has been looked into.
On a more selfish note, If you do find a solution with your doctor to ADHD meds causing anger, please let me know as this problem is why I don’t medicate.
I’m going to look into it. Ive sent my psych nurse a few emails.
I hope that route works out well, but even if it doesn’t I hope you continue to try
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I feel this. Thank you for posting, I feel less alone.
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Sorry to hear that. Got a fair bit of emotional dysregulation too. Sucks so much, and feel like no one understands it. People get mad that I wake and bake- but the alternative seems to be wake and just be mad at everything in the world myself. For what it’s worth, your posts usually resonate with me and I’m glad you’re around on this earth
Thank you for saying that.
Ive been going through some medical shit recently that makes me wonder if I’m ever giving to be myself again. Just the feeling of “another log on the fire” type feeling. It’s made me feel a bit checked out and I’m not liking it.
So I feel you. It’s made my fuse short and that sucks for everyone. I don’t have advice. Just know you’re struggle is shared in some capacity. Good days are inevitable, that’s what I try to remind myself.
Be well comrade.
I hope you can find some rest comrade
If you’re one to doom-scroll, you need to set up some kind of block on your phone/PC to prevent yourself from going down that rabbit hole. We are all empathetically drained, watching all of the nonsense on the news/social media, you gotta protect yourself from all of that nonsense :)
On the days you have said energy, maybe read a (non-political or otherwise triggering) book.
Using the energy to learn about the horrors of the world does the same thing to me, and sometimes it’s best to use your good days to be kind to yourself and your brain :)
