With my first day with real energy in awhile being coupled with two temper meltdowns, (theres been a recent med change I should mention, but every one we have seems to just vacciltate between these two states). I feel like Im just… Im either a destructive ragebeast OR a useless sleepy flop who cant do literally anything.
I really dont want to live. I really dont want t fucking live. I’m so tired of this constant fucking struggle. I cant just have a good fucking day. I’ll never accomplish anything and Ill keep hurting people and i just. Im so fucking exuasted (not literally because i still have energy, just tired of this gbullshit)
Sorry to hear that. Got a fair bit of emotional dysregulation too. Sucks so much, and feel like no one understands it. People get mad that I wake and bake- but the alternative seems to be wake and just be mad at everything in the world myself. For what it’s worth, your posts usually resonate with me and I’m glad you’re around on this earth
Thank you for saying that.