With Dry January well and truly over, the Church of England has taken the opportunity to proclaim that alcohol-free wine can’t be used for holy communion.
The Church’s governing body slapped down proposals for non-alcoholic wine and also gluten-free bread to be allowed during the ritual.
Instead, an Anglican leader insisted communion bread had to come from wheat flour and wine from the fermented juice of grapes.
Odd. Given miraculous nature of transubstantiation they could use any liquid for communion, surely? Like, water, or petrol, or tippex.
Or any bodily fluid, or at least that’s what the priests told me.
Lighter fluid, for the discerning gentleman.
“… a far superior drink to meths. The wankers don’t drink it because they can’t afford it.”
That would be an ecumenical matter.
Feck!