A brutal series of attacks at a rural monastery in Spain over the weekend has left several people injured, after an assailant reportedly broke in and declared “I am Jesus Christ and I am going to kill the monks.” Following a lengthy search of the countryside around Valencia, police have arrested a man on suspicion of carrying out the vicious attack, which left a 76-year-old man fighting for his life.
Initial reports on Saturday indicated that a Catholic Bishop had been killed during the violent rampage, during which the assailant is alleged to have used a historical artefact, as well as a glass bottle, to attack monks at the monastery. However, emergency services have since confirmed that no one died, but one individual remains in a critical condition in hospital following the assault
Goddamn it Jesus you couldn’t go do the money changers again? The banks my man not monks, the banks!
I am intrigued as to what the “historical artefact” is.
It just so happened to be the monastery that kept the cudgel of St. Patrick.
THAT’S what St. Patrick’s Day should be about.
An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.
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Strange how if you search for another source rather than clicking an utter shitrag like The Mirror, every single result is by an utter fucking shitrag
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/spain-friars-killed-injured-monastery/
https://elpais.com/espana/2024-11-10/detenido-el-autor-del-ataque-que-dejo-a-siete-monjes-heridos-en-el-monasterio-de-gilet.html - El País is considered a newspaper of record, the automated translation isn’t too bad.
Religion, the eternal mental illness.
GTA 6 is going to have to work really hard to top the current reality.
Screw gta, this is something out of postal.
The monks should have signed his petition
This makes me wanna go have fisticuffs with this Jesus guy declaring myself Methuselah. Get him in a headlock and demand he bless me.
“Jesus tags in Herod the Great! Herod’s climbing the turnbuckles… he’s on the top rope… pauses a moment to get the crowd behind him… oh, he’s going for the elbow drop on Methuselah…!”
It’s a fighting Jesus then
He’s not the Jesus we want, but he’s the Jesus we need
Dunno about you but I believe him
Welp. Title claimed.
